Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Dear the little girl I was once asked to give advice to,

A few months back I was spending a few days at my mom's office to make extra money to go towards my then upcoming trip to Guatemala. A mom came in with a teeny tiny newborn baby girl. This little bitty baby was their first daughter, & she had some number of older brothers. My mom smiled & asked me if I had any advice on growing up with that many brothers! At the time I laughed shyly & shook my head, but this is what I would've said if I'd had the time & thought.

Dear the little girl with all those brothers,

First & foremost, I won't sugarcoat it, they're gonna drive you crazy. Up a wall. Nobody in the world will be more capable of getting on every. last. one. of your nerves. And they'll do it too, they'll do everything in their power to make you mad & want to kick them where it hurts. Unfortunately, there's not much advice I can give you in this aspect, learning to deal with each of them in particular is something you'll have to master on your own, & unfortunately, putting them in a box isn't an option. I know, it's disappointing for me too.

When they do, be the princess you were born to be, but not in the spoiled, bratty way some people will expect from you. Be loving, graceful, humble, kind. It won't be easy, you will not be that all the time, I'll guarantee that now, but when those boys make you crazy, do everything you can simply to smile & shake your head. Kill them with kindness little lady, believe me, if you do, you've won.

Please, be patient with them. They're as human as you are, & they'll make you mad, they'll make mistakes, they're BOYS. They'll do things you will likely never understand why or how that would even enter their minds. The male species is a different world, be patient with them. They're stupid, crazy, & will get you & them into trouble, get used to it early on.

Growing up with brothers, your personality may seem to not fit the cliche molds the world has already set up. If you're anything like me, the word "girly" is so very true on one side of the spectrum, & so very not on the other. You may love wearing frilly dresses, but you probably don't mind getting all dirty either. You may love My Little Pony (or whatever is popular while you're growing up) but you might find you don't mind Star Wars or super hero movies either. Sure, you'd prefer puppies, but you probably won't understand when your friends freak out over insects.
It's a weird life to live, with such a strange view of the world, but don't ever change to fit the world's standards.

If your brothers are anything like mine, you'll probably grow up being told from the minute you're old enough to understand, you're not allowed to date boys. The funny thing is, with all those brothers, you're probably not all that interested either. I mean, have you ever been near a boy!? They're gross & weird & stupid, why would I want to date one, right?! Whatever you think of boys, your brothers view of you anywhere near them probably won't change. Let them be protective, & please, if you aren't already shaking your head at the thought of dating, take their advice. Don't date in middle school, it's just not worth it, they're all pretty much the same, middle school boys are NOT worth your time.

But seriously, your brothers love you, I'm sure of it. Take their advice, if your brothers genuinely don't approve of a guy, he's probably not worth it. They won't want you to date anyone, it's true, but still, be careful. LET THEM BE PROTECTIVE, let them scare the heck out of any boy that comes near you, any guy worth having will have to deal with that for the rest of his life, if he deserves you, he can handle them himself.

Oh & hey, be protective of them too. Remember, you're the only one who is really allowed to talk crap about them, that comes with the job description of "little sister", stand up for them. You'll be glad you did. One of the most frequent questions you'll get growing up is "how do you deal with all those boys!?" (that's why I'm writing this after all), be honest, but don't talk bad about them, just look cute & tell them it takes practice, that's what I do ;)

They're your brothers, but let them be your friend. At some point as you guys are growing up, they'll probably think they're too cool for their little sister, or you'll think you're too cool for your big brother, get over yourselves. They're the best friends you'll ever have, & also your ride a lot of the time, be nice. Don't be embarrassed of them, even when they're being ridiculous. The older I've gotten, the more my brothers have gotten to the point that it no longer makes them look "less cool" (in their mind) to hang around their sister. They hug me & we go places & hang out together & I actually miss being around them when I'm gone. Be their friend.

Whether you're 5 or 15 or I'm sure far beyond that, they will make fun of you, every chance they get. You have to learn to not be super sensitive (something I've struggled with) & take all those things with a grain of salt. All of it, brothers do things simply to get a reaction out of you. They may not apologize, they may not admit they didn't mean it, but they most likely weren't saying it to hurt you. They're just boys, & they're stupid & clueless. But you'll learn that for yourself.

Long story short, they're gonna drive you nuts, & you probably won't think to remember this when they're making fun of you or being dumb, but seriously, be patient with them, deal with them in the short term, because I promise you, you're going to be really thankful for them later. You will be thankful for the guys in your life that are always there for you, you'll be thankful for the lifelong friend, you'll be thankful for someone who understands when other people don't. They'll be your best friends, they'll still be your annoying, protective, crazy older brothers, but you won't find anyone more willing to stand by you when you need them.

sincerely, someone who is still figuring all of this out for myself,
Molly

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That was actually so much fun. Brothers are crazy, but gosh I don't know where I'd be without them.