Dear the little girl I was once asked to give advice to,

A few months back I was spending a few days at my mom's office to make extra money to go towards my then upcoming trip to Guatemala. A mom came in with a teeny tiny newborn baby girl. This little bitty baby was their first daughter, & she had some number of older brothers. My mom smiled & asked me if I had any advice on growing up with that many brothers! At the time I laughed shyly & shook my head, but this is what I would've said if I'd had the time & thought.

Dear the little girl with all those brothers,

First & foremost, I won't sugarcoat it, they're gonna drive you crazy. Up a wall. Nobody in the world will be more capable of getting on every. last. one. of your nerves. And they'll do it too, they'll do everything in their power to make you mad & want to kick them where it hurts. Unfortunately, there's not much advice I can give you in this aspect, learning to deal with each of them in particular is something you'll have to master on your own, & unfortunately, putting them in a box isn't an option. I know, it's disappointing for me too.

When they do, be the princess you were born to be, but not in the spoiled, bratty way some people will expect from you. Be loving, graceful, humble, kind. It won't be easy, you will not be that all the time, I'll guarantee that now, but when those boys make you crazy, do everything you can simply to smile & shake your head. Kill them with kindness little lady, believe me, if you do, you've won.

Please, be patient with them. They're as human as you are, & they'll make you mad, they'll make mistakes, they're BOYS. They'll do things you will likely never understand why or how that would even enter their minds. The male species is a different world, be patient with them. They're stupid, crazy, & will get you & them into trouble, get used to it early on.

Growing up with brothers, your personality may seem to not fit the cliche molds the world has already set up. If you're anything like me, the word "girly" is so very true on one side of the spectrum, & so very not on the other. You may love wearing frilly dresses, but you probably don't mind getting all dirty either. You may love My Little Pony (or whatever is popular while you're growing up) but you might find you don't mind Star Wars or super hero movies either. Sure, you'd prefer puppies, but you probably won't understand when your friends freak out over insects.
It's a weird life to live, with such a strange view of the world, but don't ever change to fit the world's standards.

If your brothers are anything like mine, you'll probably grow up being told from the minute you're old enough to understand, you're not allowed to date boys. The funny thing is, with all those brothers, you're probably not all that interested either. I mean, have you ever been near a boy!? They're gross & weird & stupid, why would I want to date one, right?! Whatever you think of boys, your brothers view of you anywhere near them probably won't change. Let them be protective, & please, if you aren't already shaking your head at the thought of dating, take their advice. Don't date in middle school, it's just not worth it, they're all pretty much the same, middle school boys are NOT worth your time.

But seriously, your brothers love you, I'm sure of it. Take their advice, if your brothers genuinely don't approve of a guy, he's probably not worth it. They won't want you to date anyone, it's true, but still, be careful. LET THEM BE PROTECTIVE, let them scare the heck out of any boy that comes near you, any guy worth having will have to deal with that for the rest of his life, if he deserves you, he can handle them himself.

Oh & hey, be protective of them too. Remember, you're the only one who is really allowed to talk crap about them, that comes with the job description of "little sister", stand up for them. You'll be glad you did. One of the most frequent questions you'll get growing up is "how do you deal with all those boys!?" (that's why I'm writing this after all), be honest, but don't talk bad about them, just look cute & tell them it takes practice, that's what I do ;)

They're your brothers, but let them be your friend. At some point as you guys are growing up, they'll probably think they're too cool for their little sister, or you'll think you're too cool for your big brother, get over yourselves. They're the best friends you'll ever have, & also your ride a lot of the time, be nice. Don't be embarrassed of them, even when they're being ridiculous. The older I've gotten, the more my brothers have gotten to the point that it no longer makes them look "less cool" (in their mind) to hang around their sister. They hug me & we go places & hang out together & I actually miss being around them when I'm gone. Be their friend.

Whether you're 5 or 15 or I'm sure far beyond that, they will make fun of you, every chance they get. You have to learn to not be super sensitive (something I've struggled with) & take all those things with a grain of salt. All of it, brothers do things simply to get a reaction out of you. They may not apologize, they may not admit they didn't mean it, but they most likely weren't saying it to hurt you. They're just boys, & they're stupid & clueless. But you'll learn that for yourself.

Long story short, they're gonna drive you nuts, & you probably won't think to remember this when they're making fun of you or being dumb, but seriously, be patient with them, deal with them in the short term, because I promise you, you're going to be really thankful for them later. You will be thankful for the guys in your life that are always there for you, you'll be thankful for the lifelong friend, you'll be thankful for someone who understands when other people don't. They'll be your best friends, they'll still be your annoying, protective, crazy older brothers, but you won't find anyone more willing to stand by you when you need them.

sincerely, someone who is still figuring all of this out for myself,
Molly

***

That was actually so much fun. Brothers are crazy, but gosh I don't know where I'd be without them.

Living Between Homes

"That's how you know you've got a home, that when you leave it, there's this feeling you can't shake, you just miss it"

We all have a home, even if you don't realize it, appreciate it, or understand it, you have a home somewhere. Maybe it's a place where you find your home, maybe it's a person, wherever they are is where your home is, maybe it's just wherever you go & you have a certain feeling, this means home. Wherever, whoever, whenever your home is, we all have one somewhere, even if we've yet to find it.

Some of us are lucky enough to have found more than one home, or perhaps it's just one, but in different places. It's beautiful & amazing, it's a blessing & I couldn't be more thankful.

But it's hard.

It's beautiful & it's painful, it's amazing & it's heart wrenching, it's a blessing & it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Living between countries hurts, on one hand I'm always home, I find home with my family & my friends & my church. In doing school with my little brothers, or sitting out on our porch swing listening to music. In InsideOut on Wednesday nights, or staying up late talking about life with my best friend.

I find home with my kids & my family here & the people, no matter how much they may drive me crazy sometimes. In reading to the kids, in teaching them games & playing Ugandan games. In helping them with their homework & trying to keep up with their fast paced hand clap games in Luganda. In doing Sunday school & teaching them from God's word, in putting bandaids on scraped knees & holding them when they fall until they stop crying.

But though I'm always home, I'm always not fully home, there's always something missing, I'm constantly wishing to see someone I can't, who's not there. Constantly wishing to do something that I can't wherever I may be. I'm always homesick, for one place or the other.

It's easier here in Uganda, missing home in Kentucky. Of course I miss my family & my friends, but while I'm here for 2 months, I'm in the states the other 10. Because I know what it feels like to go much longer than two months without seeing my babies, I know how hard & how painful it is to be in Kentucky. Of course I'm looking forward to seeing people again & doing things I can't do here, but I can't wish away my time here, because it's always limited. I know what day I leave to go back to Kentucky, but when I get back, I have no idea how long I'll be waiting to be in Uganda again.

Everyone asks me if I "miss home", like I'm not there. The answer is yes, I always miss home, from Kentucky to Uganda I always miss home, whichever one that may be.

For the next two weeks I refuse to wish away my time here, even though I do miss my family, & sometimes I do wish I could wear shorts or go swimming or go out with my friends, my time here is so incredibly limited whenever here, that I choose not to be anything but ALL here, I can't be wishing to be somewhere else when right now, right here, there's a reason I'm here & I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Living between countries, between homes, isn't an easy life to live, but it's mine, & it's amazing.

Sunflowers… An unexpected truth

Who would have thought that field of sunflowers we pass over & over throughout the years, would suddenly seem so much more meaningful in just one morning.

My mom decided to again "hack" my blog to post her thoughts, spurred on by a beautiful field of sunflowers.

***

I look forward to the sunflower fields this time of year.  

I watch as they stretch up to the sky so quickly.  

Each morning I check their progress… how long til they bloom, tomorrow, the next day.  

Because the season is brief.  

Miss a day watching, or a storm blows through and they have passed their peak.  

Their brilliance is past prime.  

This year I caught them. 

 I even stopped on the way to work and took pictures.  (Sorry for trespassing random field owner, but thanks!)

This morning, I passed them again.  

They are droopy now. 

 Heads bent down, brilliant yellow petals starting to fade.  

Soon, they will be down right UGLY.

But this morning they spoke to me in their droopiness.  

I drove by 

and thought, 

“I feel like those sunflowers”.  

I want everyone to see me at my best, 

like those beautiful tall proud sunflowers in full bloom.  

Strong.  

Tall.  

Beautiful.  

Confident.  

But the reality is often so different.  

I’m tired. 

 Stressed. 

 Lonely. 

 Feeling totally past my peak. 

Should I try to fake it.  

Try to put on a mask and make it all look lovely.  (I don’t think they make masks that good.)

That’s when the Holy Spirit started whispering to my heart.  

Yes, I am tired.  

I am incapable of doing everything that needs to be done. 

 I am lonely, even in a house full of kids, when my best friend and partner is on the other side of the world.

 I am struggling to stay upright some moments.  

There is still work to be done.  

80+ kids in Uganda to care for plus mine at home, a business to run, patients to care for.  

But He says, “It’s ok, My grace is sufficient for you”

I pondered on the sunflowers some more. 

 What is the purpose of a sunflower plant. 

 Beauty?  

Definitely!  

Scripture clearly states that creation is meant to glorify our God.

But is there more??  

There must be more my heart cries.  

Otherwise, why is the beauty so brief!  

But… 

thankfully… 

there is more.  

They provide shelter in the heat and FOOD.  

Nourishment for other creatures big and small.  

But still, 

there’s more…

 they exist to create more sunflowers!!  

As each seed falls to the ground, there is potential!!  

Each seed can fall to the ground and die to itself.  

As it does it is renewed and sprouts to life and grows into newness.  

That one sunflowers producing thousands of seeds each of which has the potential to produce thousands of more sunflowers.  

A simple truth, but one my soul needed this morning.

Then I reflected on my own life.  

I want to stay tall and confident and unflawed.  

But the reality is that is not the purpose of my life.  

Yes, there will be seasons where I pray I reflect the Glory of my Creator and shine His beauty. 

 But there will be other seasons that are different.  

Seasons where He calls me to feed His sheep.  

Literally?  Yes!  

Figuratively?  Yes!  

Its not just a lovely theory, 

its the reality where serving Him in tangible ways kicks in.  

Will it be hard, yes.  

(Like plucking the seeds off a sunflower head.)  

Is it necessary, 

absolutely.  

It is essential if I want to live the life He created me to live.  

Its sharing His love, being His hands and feet.  

It’s getting dirty and having my heart break over and over and over.  

But its ok, 

its His plan.  

Because, when I am weak, then He is strong!

Thankfully on days like this, 

deep down, 

I know there is still more.  

It’s His plan.  

I was also created to share His love, His plan for mankind.  

I am called to be a part of bringing His Kingdom to Earth.  

I am called to be a part of His divine plan to bring more of His children back into his fold.  I am called to be a part of repeating this pattern of living and dying to self to bring forth new life.  

Beautiful.  

Humbling.  

Hard.  

Worth it.

To be honest, I’m not always a fan of the hard stuff.  

I like those days when the sun shines,

 the skies are blue 

and I stand strong and lovely. 

 The other stuff… dying to self, pouring out my life, living to serve God and His children… 

It’s hard.  

We want to gloss over it, 

Christian it up.  

But I want to walk and speak in truth.  

It will be hard, 

and that’s ok.  

Serving Him is guaranteed to bring seasons of work and suffering.  

Jesus told us to take up our crosses, not settle into comfort.  

He promised difficulties and persecution.  

There is no part of the Bible where God told us that His ways would be easy.  

But, these seasons prepare us to be a part of an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  

I will strive to rejoice in the hard times and be thankful for this life that God called me into.  

I will continue to stand in His strength when mine is gone.  

I will continue to feed His sheep and live my life to bring His Kingdom to a hurting world. 

So, if I look ragged… I probably am.  

Stand with me. 

Together we will be stronger.  

We can bring His hope and glory and light into this darkness.

Just like that field of sunflowers!!

It's Time

34 cents a day.

What can you do with 34 cents a day??

I'm headed back to Uganda in roughly 6 weeks, but for now, here's a guest post from my mom, giving you a good idea of how you can change the world and future for someone, for only 34 cents a day...

***

You know those thoughts that you have… 

the ones you push back down… 

because you don’t want to be too pushy or offensive.  

You don’t want to come across as being too “negative” (when really its just your heart that’s breaking.)  

You don’t want to “bring people down” (when its just children’s lives at risk.)

Have you been there?? 

 I have. 

Over and over again in the past 5 years.

5 years.  

Has it really been that long since God broke in to my safe little world and started breaking my heart?  

It seems like yesterday and it seems like a lifetime.

It started out innocent enough.  

Just a few rag dolls.  

A fun mother-daughter project. 

 I didn’t realize that it would change my life.  Change the direction of our entire family.  That’s God for ya!  

Using the small things to create big change.

Our hearts have been broken, but we’ve repeatedly told stories of hope.  

 The pain is real, but so is hope.  

After reeling from push back early in our journey, we’ve held back.  

We’ve shared mostly the good parts, 

trying to inspire people to help.

But maybe its time for a reality check.

The reality is that there are plenty of problems in the world. 

 All you have to do is turn on the TV or computer and its overwhelming.  

School girls are abducted from their classes; their parents die of grief or at the hands of the kidnappers. 

 Planes disappear, and fall out of the sky.  

Wars rage, while innocent children are caught in the cross fire.  

Natural disasters continue to destroy lives and dreams.

It’s real.  But it’s not hopeless. 

These words from Ann Voskamp resonated deep in my heart this week.  

“there is enough loveliness, enough beauty, enough peace, enough love in this world — enough food in this world —- if we would just share?

And not the royal we.   

What if I shared.  

What if you shared.  

Even if just our excess.  

It would change the world for one or two or more.

So, I’ve concluded its time to be a little more blunt.  A little more direct.  

It’s time.

I was asked this week what our most pressing need is at Future Hope Ministries.  

The reality is that its money.  

That’s not romantic.  Its not inspirational.  

But its reality.  

It takes money to feed our kids and pay for their safe place to live.  It takes money to pay their school fees and pay our incredible staff in Uganda.  It takes money to be able to help children in the community who have little hope without outside help.

But if we work together 

(and by “we” I mean every follower of Jesus, everyone who claims to be a child of God. Or any other compassionate person.)

We can be the answers this world desperately needs.

So here’s the hard reality.  

We have about 50 community kids currently enrolled at Future Hope Nursery and Primary School.  

Of those, probably 40 haven’t paid any or all of their school fees.  

This semester fees were really cheap, and they will stay inexpensive by our standards,

 but if you have nothing… 

or if the choice is eating the next meal or school fees… 

cheap/inexpensive is still unattainable.

We have difficult choices to make.  

Our teachers still need to be paid.  

We still have to buy food.  All of our kids eat two meals at school.  

(Community kids often don’t eat two meals in two days.)  

And, the money has to come from somewhere.  

If not, 

then students will have to be sent home—uneducated and hungry.

 Teachers will have to be fired.   

What does this have to do with you??  

Everything!!

It costs 34 cents a day to educate and feed one child.

34 cents!

What can you do with 34 cents?  Buy part of a candy bar? 

But 34 cents a day can change the entire future of a child.

The reality is that without an education they will never leave the slum they were born in. 

Any hopes they have now will die the slow death of reality.

But, we have a chance to change that.  

Keep their hopes and dreams alive. 

 Create ripples that can change lives and communities.

For 34 cents a day.

It’s time. 

These kids are real and they matter!    

They have names and their own stories.    

They didn’t choose to be born in a slum in Kampala instead of Kentucky.

Neither did you… 

Each of us on this side of the ocean have been blessed with abundance & plenty!!

What are we going to do with it?

We have the resources to change lives and futures.

What are you going to choose to do about it? 

What are you going to do with 34 cents a day?  

Visit our website for more information about our story and ministry.

www.isaiah117.org

And, consider making a difference.  You can sign up to educate and feed TWO children for just $20 a month.  34 cents per child per day.  

Visit our online store at 

http://loveuganda.storenvy.com

~ Laura

{Uganda Edits}

I like to think that I'm pretty good at the editing photos thing, 

and I very much enjoy it, 

so you can often find me spending hours doing nothing but it.

And today I thought I'd share some of them ;)

I made a whole bunch of ones like this, but this one is my favorite

Does her smile not just make your heart happy?

Love this one, and this picture <3

I ADORE this picture 

Not my favorite of the edits, but love this quote.

This kid ♥♥♥

Edrine ~ What a difference a year makes.

Just a few days from now marks one year since Edrine has been home with us in Kentucky, I thought it would be a good time to stop and remember what God has done in the last 16 months that he's been a part of our lives.

August 2012 - the first time we got to meet him.

October 2012 - Back with Daddy...

... And meeting Mommy for the first time.

And he loved stickers. So much.

Our first picture after the judge officially called Edrine part of our family.

December 22nd, 2012 - after a 2 1/2 month long roller coaster ride, it all led up to this: Our first picture ALL together as a family.

December 29th, 2012 - Just a few days later, he saw snow for the first time!

Guess he didn't mind the cold after all. (Now he would say "Because I'm a tough guy")

January 2013 - Edrine has... interesting food choices. This would be a slice of cheese covered in applesauce.

In the months following, Edrine had a lot of "firsts", first time swinging, swimming, and he found a dinosaur costume, so that was awesome:

April 10th 2013 - Edrine celebrated his 6th, and first American birthday! He loved celebrating his birthday, and thought it was positively HYSTERICAL when we were singing to him, which makes for some pretty cute pictures.

May 2013 - He thought the horses at our friend's wedding were just awesome. They were all his favorite.

Edrine & his two best buddies, Zeek & Layla :)

The whole family on our vacation to Florida in June 2013, he never quite warmed up to the ocean, but he really loved the pond/lake right next to it.

Soap bubbles all over the trampoline. :P

The day Edrine officially became Edrine Mark White!

September 2013 - the first time he left a tooth under his pillow. The tooth fairy brought him moneys :)

This was in September I believe, I just find this picture absolutely adorable.

In his favorite Batman jacket, he wears it 24/7, whether it's 30 degrees, or 90.

This was the only picture I have of Edrine on Halloween, but you should see HIS Hulk face, it's perfect.

I drew them "tatoos" & mustaches about a month ago, absolutely no regrets, it was awesome.

Edrine & Sam on Thanksgiving, & yes, he is howling. He's a werewolf.

Edrine just a few days ago, decorating our Christmas tree. 

I know today a year ago certainly wasn't the happiest I've ever been, there was so much uncertainty and craziness (did I just win the award for understatement of the year?), but God came through, and this little man has been HOME for almost a year now, and we get to enjoy Christmas together. 

What a wonderful feeling it is.